Amir said he heard Hallucinogen play Gamma Goblins at a festival at dawn and it was the greatest thing he ever heard. And it made me think of the dawns I’ve danced through, knees notwithstanding. I also remember hearing Hallucinogen at Ozora, some hazy time ago. This is what psytrance is for me, times you are impossibly awake and feeling absolutely unreal and kind of lucky even though dawn is generally cold as fuck and your body is well beyond being able to deal, your mind is melting and you are unlimited miles away from anything resembling normal life, and when you push just a little harder beyond that, even the pain lets you go, you forget everything and become the music.

All it takes for it to be worth it is that immeasurable moment out of time. It doesn’t matter if it lasts five seconds or an hour, and you can’t tell anyway. But you were there — there where you were not, being this music that was talking to the oldest parts of you, the ones that you got from your ancestors sleeping, where all of history is just as long as a cat’s paw twitching in dreams and no interpretation comes between you and the moment, and this moment is made of pure movement.

So it’s weird when you take your best girl down south to what they are calling a festival these days, with 10,000 fuckboys and basic bitches, and policemen in rows of six looking for your jazz cabbage, and there isn’t a cold dawn bringing transcendence, and your best girl doesn’t get it and you kind of don’t either anymore, so now the joy is in making the next gamma goblins dance even if you’re feeling rather delta most of the time. And that’s where I’m at right now — the next fuckboy to see me at a festival will be looking up at me in the DJ booth. But I still hope I get my dawn again, because that’s the reason I make psytrance.